Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
