haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
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