i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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