I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
