I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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