sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
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I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
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I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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