Kiss
Puke
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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