It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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