we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you cant smoke seaweed
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize