The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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