I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Congratulations! We have a period
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