Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
