The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
