Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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