wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
