If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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