yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Mom said you looked used
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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