I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So vagazzling was a success
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
