he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
