Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize