Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
