Ambien. No doubt about it.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
