I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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