just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
