Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
