Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
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