her vagine was all disorganized.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
