none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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