theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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