Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
