I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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