ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
