Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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