Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
