I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
