She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
