The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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