i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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