Christians are straight up FREAKS
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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