I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
