She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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