Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize