i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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