I'm passing your future prison.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
