Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
i think im in europe. pls send help
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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