Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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