Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
