Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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