i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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