I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
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He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
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Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.