I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.