Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
