the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
