she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Randomize
