idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
