i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
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you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
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Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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