Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
