I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
