none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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