I accidentally had phone sex last night
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
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He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
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