it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
