how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
