Jerry, you need to find god
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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